Alternatively, please consider an approach called “inter-disciplinary collaborative law.” Inter-disciplinary collaborative law is a unique settlement alternative to the traditional expensive and time-consuming trial process. The collaborative law process does not rely on court-imposed orders, but like mediation, uses an atmosphere of cooperation and professionalism to reach agreements that are geared toward the future well-being of the family. Collaborative law is a relatively recent addition to the Texas Family Code. It allows the parties to each hire a collaboratively trained attorney, and together build a team to handle the negotiations. The team approach avoids conflict because, except for the attorneys, everyone is neutral (no taking sides), and it’s cost effective, because you share costs, rather than hiring two of everything. Sound familiar? It should, as it’s mediation, but with the additional cost of attorneys. A basic collaborative team consists of two collaboratively trained attorneys and a mental health professional/counselor, who basically handles the mediator role. The team can be expanded to add additional members where necessary, such as a CPA/accountant, CDFA (certified divorce financial advisor), QDRO (qualified domestic relations order) preparer, realtor, etc., depending on what issues need to be addressed. In simple terms, once the parties agree to proceed “collaboratively,” they file an “Agreed Joint Petition,” telling the court that they are filing for divorce, but basically want the case to be parked until they bring a “Final Order” for signing. Then the team works out all the details and prepares the Final Order that they want the judge to sign, which is submitted and “proved up” (someone has to give testimony to the judge asking that the order be signed). Because there is no court involvement except for the judge’s signature, everything stays confidential and between the parties. The only public record will be that a divorce Petition was filed and a Decree signed. Importantly, the incentive to make the process work is that everyone understands that if they are unable to reach a resolution and decide to “go to trial,” they have to fire the collaborative attorneys and hire trial attorneys, starting over from the very beginning, which substantially increases the cost and time involved in completing the divorce. I am a collaborative attorney, so should you decide that you want to hire me as your attorney, rather than as a neutral mediator, I highly recommend this process. Unfortunately, to use this method, your spouse will have to hire an attorney who agrees to proceed collaboratively under a Participation Agreement, which is often a challenge once attorneys are consulted/hired. For more information on the collaborative divorce process, please check out Collaborative Divorce Texas at: https://collaborativedivorcetexas.com.